Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Bully Summary Response Outline

Summary Response Outline

Summary:
  • Topic sentence:The documentary “Bully”, directed by Lee Hirsch, confronts the true horror some American students face being mercilessly bullied by their peers at school.
  • Supporting ideas to prove main ideas
  • All over the United States, children are terrified to come to school because they fear for their safety. This documentary brings to light how children are being ruthlessly bullied by their peers as the adults, who are supposed to protect them, just stand by and watch it happen. Bullying causes mental injury, physical injury, and death.
  • Concluding sentence: In conclusion, bullying is a nationwide epidemic and more children will die until the school system changes,

Response:
  • Topic sentence: The documentary “Bully”, directed by Lee Hirsch correctly illustrates,the immense problems that arise when schools and officials refuse to admit that their systems are faulty and change their bullying policies. These faults are actively costing children their lives.
  • Claim 1:
    • Set-up: Many school systems are set up in such a way that bullying is not something that is monitored and instead it is the victim’s responsibility to talk to the officials, who often do nothing anyways. This shames victims in vulnerable states into believing it’s their fault they’re being hurt.
    • Lead in: Alex Libby, a twelve-year-old boy being bullied, recalls,
    • Quote:  “I didn’t tell them what was going on, which was my mistake.”
    • Explanation: Children are very impressionable, and making it their responsibility to set aside their learning to talk to an official who may or may not believe them when they are in their worst states is just setting kids up for failure. Many kids have disabilities that make it near impossible for them to stand up for themselves or talk to faculty.
    • Conclusion: While it’s important that kids learn to be a self-advocate, the stakes should never be set as high as mental/physical injury, or even death.
  • Counterclaim 1: However, ....
    • Set Up: However, while most of the blame for bullying falls on the school system, there is only so much that the teachers can do to protect their students. Students and parents are always very fast to place blame on the school system, when in fact, there is a limit to what the teachers can prevent. Ultimately, kids will be mean, and kids will say and do hurtful things.
    • Lead In: An assistant principal in the Murray County School District very accurately stated,
    • Quote: “We can’t stop kids from saying bad things and we can’t watch what kids do every minute”.
    • Explanation: The school system cannot be blamed for all bullying because, even though parents hope that teachers know what their child is doing every second that they are at school, there is no possible way for the teachers to monitor every child, every second of the day.
    • Concluding Sentence: In conclusion, there is no logical way for a teacher to be aware of every instance of bullying that happens at their school.
    • What are the strengths/ flaws of this argument?


Rebuttal:
  • At first glance, it seems as though the teachers may not be responsible for everything that happens while children are at school, but upon further analysis of of each situation, the ultimate responsibility falls on the teachers.  
  • We cannot deny that schools can’t keep tabs on everything every student says every second of the day.
  • While this view seems reasonable at first glance, we should look closer at the responsibilities of schools. It is the law to go to school. When a parent sends a child to school, they are entrusting the teachers and officials with the safety and well-being of their child. It is unacceptable for these places that shape the rest of a child’s life to knowingly foster hateful speech and painful actions. When a child is beat up at school or commits suicide because of bullying, the school has broken the trust to the parents and has failed the child.
  • In conclusion, bullying is a serious fault, and cannot be treated with ignorance any longer, as this fault is killing children.

1 comment:

  1. Good start: make sure to punctuate the title correctly. Also, you have a lot of opinion words and ideas in your summary when it should be void of opinion. Make sure to attribute the ideas back to the director "Hirsch shows..."

    Where is the Why to your response topic sentence? Really nice work with your claim and counterclaim. Make sure to properly cite your sources for your quotes (Hirsch). Also, make sure to set-up the situation of the quotations a bit more. Nice work on your rebuttal. Eliminate all personal words.

    Strong conclusion. Proofread.

    16/20

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